In the life of a woman, pregnancies and births are turning points and inevitably they are also moments in which everything resurfaces, you can feel vulnerable and unstable, the balance is broken and memories return punctually to keep us company…
Obviously it’s happening to me too, I certainly expected it, but I didn’t think it would be that strong!
The memories of the first pregnancy are back: the fear, the pain, the loneliness, everything is here again, as if it was never gone, as if I were living it right now, but it is not! Now I am sure of myself, I am happy, I have a wonderful person next to me and my sweet daughter, everything is different, but my mind does not matter.. the memories make room in the mind, in thoughts, in dreams.. it’s difficult, tiring and deleterious ..
Finally I decide to let go, to let out everything I have buried, and I start to cry. The tears come out quickly, as if someone had turned on a tap, the sobs come and the more I cry the more I realize that sad feelings come out together with the tears.
I finally stopped crying, I’m tired but I feel so light! The memories are still there, but they are back to being simple memories, they no longer have power over my body!
Obviously they will come back strong, but I will be ready and I will let them go because then everything will end and they will be just distant memories of a life that is no longer mine…
See you at the next chapter!
Ale, mum of 2!